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Re: A Dark Voice: Chapter One
Hey, I've been working on rewriting That Voice and this is one of the rewrites I've come up with. I've changed the characters dramatically, but the plot is still pretty ...
Jan 18, 2009 -
Re: Running free.
I liked this. It had tons of emotion and drama. Plus, I can relate to wanting someone to stay with me, even if they don't belong. There was scarlet around ...
Jan 18, 2009 -
Re: This Christmas, let's end our lives. Part 1
Hm, I liked the title of this, very unique. I'm just going to critique as I read, so here we go. “This is the worst day of my life,” Cheryl ...
Jan 18, 2009 -
Re: After Death
Welcome to YWS! I haven't been on in a while, so I'm sorry if my review sucks. :) The poster above me got the major nitpicks. “I had a dream ...
Jan 18, 2009 -
Re: Preface to Passionfire
Hello! You're off to a good start, but I have a few suggestions. All his life he had feared death as a cold, damp plague eating away at a defenceless ...
Dec 29, 2008 -
Re: Lost - Chapter Three
Nice. This keeps getting better and better. I didn't have any major issues with this chapter, but just some nitpicky things. But it was three months – three long, agonizing ...
Dec 27, 2008 -
Re: Twilight Poster WIP
Woah. I like it; it has this haunting kind of atmosphere to it. Love it! Nariel
Nov 20, 2008 -
Re: That Voice - Chapter 2
Hey, here's Chapter 2. Things should start to explain themselves a little bit. Hope you like it. Nariel Chapter 2: Much Closer Jimmy’s Point of View There are two things ...
Nov 19, 2008 -
Re: Revised Doki Doki Moon- prologue
I agree, this will be very cool when you draw it all out. =) I think you use the words "the boy" a little bit too much. So either you ...
Nov 19, 2008 -
Re: What The Stars See - Prolouge, Chapter One and Two
Hey this was very well written and I loved reading it. I do have a couple things though. I heard the siren’s not long after, but I was already almost ...
Nov 18, 2008 -
Re: That Voice
Author's Note: If you didn't read the first part, I suggest you do because then all of this will make a little bit more sense. I was planning on fleshing ...
Nov 17, 2008 -
Re: The Dark Side of the Moon - 1
Hey, I really enjoyed this chapter and I like how you've made it so original (for a vampire story). =) I simple loathed this, for I had to chase him ...
Nov 15, 2008 -
Re: Medside Series - Detective Series
Hello and welcome to YWS! I'm glad you think YWS is marvelous, because I think it's marvelous too. We have a 2:1 rule on here though. You need to do ...
Nov 15, 2008 -
Re: Should I change Lake Girls name?
Hmmm. I like the title you have now. Lake Girls is really catchy and I like it. Besides, there are a lot of titles out there that barely have to ...
Nov 13, 2008 -
Re: I Want To Beat Edward Cullen With A Stick
Oh my god, I LOVED this. I was laughing so hard, I was crying. I have a love/hate thing for Twilight but the parady...Oh my gosh, I loved the parady. ...
Nov 11, 2008
