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Re: KATANA: Prolouge
Hello there :) Shawn was worried. Why? He had a date. I find this 'Why' very unnecessary. Hmm...I feel very disappointed after reading this. There is no suspense and to ...
May 29, 2011 -
Re: Dawn Reports.....some number
Hello there :) Nope, it's still just me! It's been a while since I've seen your work posted on the site too. Anyway, you're right about the typos in your ...
May 29, 2011 -
Re: Dear Lucy: Prologue
Hello there :) It was almost as if the weather knew that it should behave today and stop storming because this was the day, the most important day. This sentence ...
May 29, 2011 -
Re: Foolish Wisdom
Hello there :) I should warn you, I'm not a poet ;) Anyway, there were definitely strong point in this poem like Emptiness listens to hear you sing. This line ...
May 25, 2011 -
Re: Rolling in the Deep Space (Song Prompt Contest)
Hello there :) I thought I'd do the honours. So I'd like to start with your introduction. I quite honestly feel that it's rather list-y! Your jumping from one thing ...
May 25, 2011 -
Re: I'm Over Here!
Lux, done! Thanks for the request and please come again...
May 24, 2011 -
Re: Lilies
My first victim! :) Hello, and how're you? I'm here as requested. So let's get cracking! Your dialogue definitely needs a little work. For example, after your character says something, ...
May 24, 2011 -
Re: I'm Over Here!
*silence* It's awfully quiet down here.
May 22, 2011 -
Re: Her Unlucky Cup of Coffee
Hello there :) I thought I'd do the honours. “Julius,” she called and approached me. “Here, drink some coffee before the day starts,” she said softly and offered me a ...
May 16, 2011 -
Re: I'm Over Here!
Hello, hello and hello! -Have you just submitted your work? -In need for someone to review it? *Well, then, don't hesitate to drop me a request, sugar. Review Criteria -Any ...
May 15, 2011 -
Re: She Knows Him
Hello there :) I definitely thought that this was very creative. The way the narrator knows a whole lot about this boy, it's jut so well thought out and planned. ...
May 15, 2011 -
Re: Just An Object?
Hello there :) Well, this was really interesting. I will first of all like to commend you on how you structured your stanzas. Quite creative! Your poem was really deep ...
May 13, 2011 -
Re: Death? Are you there?
Hello there :) Now I'm not much of a poet, but I thought I'd review one of your submissions ;) I felt that this was a very interesting take- interesting ...
May 13, 2011 -
Re: [NEED HELP] Macbeth Witches Description
Hello there :) Now I studied Macbeth like three years ago so from what I remember from this scene, I think you pretty much nailed it. I love the description ...
May 13, 2011 -
Re: stranded
Hello there and welcome to YWS!!! :) Well, on to the review. I felt your writing was okay as I read through your story. My one major problem is your ...
May 13, 2011
