zankoku_na_tenshi

Hm... not bad, but there's room for improvement, too. I like the way your characters are shaping up, but I feel like things are going way, way to fast. There's ...

Loved this third chunk, as well. lol cake. XD I love the descriptions of all the family member's weird quirks, like Penny's habit of listing people off in age order. ...

Interesting! I like hearing more about the world and your main character. I wasn't quite sold on Veronica before, but she seems like a quite likable character. I liked what ...

Chapter Three- Koreth I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do. I’m going to die. This dragon is going to fall from the rafters and spear ...

Definitely interesting, I'm very much enjoying this story. I like how you told part of the story from Seuja's POV, letting us hear his side of the story. Hm.... I'm ...

Well, that was an interesting development. I'm quite curious to hear more about these Commena, and I like how you're starting to work with your main character a little more. ...

Wow. Really... wow. That was very, very well written. You did an excellent job building up your characters and introducing the storyline. The character development already made and the backstory ...

HAHA! REVENGE OF THE BOOKWORM!! Nice one, this was fun to read. You've got one heck of a talent for characterization. I can't wait to see what happens next. Some ...

I read it all. ^_^ It was quite good, actually. I like the world you created for your characters, it feels unique and interesting. I was especially intrigued by your ...

Ooh, nice job. You've got quite a grasp on writing fight scenes, something I've always struggled with. It was interesting and pulled me in. The problem is, it was a ...

Oooh, this is getting even more interesting. Your main character is starting to stand out a little more, I feel like I know him a little better, which is good. ...

I like this a lot! You did a nice job with the imagery, you made it seem very... real, very believable. I was pulled into the description from the beginning. ...

Hm... certainly interesting, I like your idea. The idea of the book that the protagonist can't remember is an intriguing one, to be sure. I'd like to hear what happens ...

Wow. This is brilliant work, especially considering it's a rough draft. I love the unique, interesting fantasy creatures, the wisp especially. It's powers and description were like nothing I'd ever ...

I admit I really have no idea what I'm talking about, being no great writer myself, but I quite like this prologue. I can somewhat see why some people are ...