zankoku_na_tenshi

Okay, good things first: Your protagonists remain interesting, I like their personalities and the dynamic between them. I’m really admiring your continued willingness to talk about the Canaby sister

Hello, your worst nightmare has returned to haunt you! The reviewer from the black lagoon is emerging to obsess over another of your stories... That's right, I'm back, with all ...

Well, this is certainly a very promising first chapter! I do think it could use a little clean-up, but let's get things started on a positive note. Here's the good. ...

Sorry to say that the above reviewers have a really good point about those Goliath paragraphs up there. It will help, big time, if you break them up. In my ...

Chapter Fifteen: Not a Traitor With a tired smile, Sae explains. “I thought you might not recognize me. I’m Sae Noridsemi, of Samei-Kozca.” The Hralhym stiffens, her mismatched eyes widen, ...

Hello there, and welcome to YWS! The formatting doesn't stay for anybody when you copy/paste, actually, you add italics, bold, etc. through html tags. It's a little annoying, but that ...

Hi there! I really like this start! It sounds interesting, right away I started to understand your main character and get involved in your plotline. You did a nice job ...

Oookay, I'm late as usual. XD Sorry, summer classes have stolen my life and run away with it. But I daresay you know how that is. ;) This was his ...

Gah, I'm so sorry this is so late! XD Driving school was kinda killing me. But I'm back now! Now to business! One, this story is not crap at all, ...

Hey there! This was definitely an interesting start, I'm curious to hear more about your world and characters. I did think that maybe the story of how Kamir became blind ...

Sorry for my lateness once again, I've been really busy for a few weeks now. Once again, nice chapter! I, like Demeter, though the armpit hair thing was a little ...

:smt046

Chapter Fourteen: The Dead Palace At this point, it’s too late for Attaraya, Iarin, and I to leave for Dara-Kozca, even if we wanted to. Of course, the rainy sky ...

*takes a deep breath…* Okay… it took me an age and a half, but I’m finally done making edits on The Watcher! All the specific stuff is in the actual ...

You don't necessarily have to describe them. Really, there's nothing wrong with leaving a character un-described, especially your viewpoint character in first person. Since the audience really is seei