zalarus

haha, i said that half-jokingly. but i really do like the concept, i think it should be written in free verse, as that would add an interesting flavor to it. ...

hmm, i don't really see the immature angst part, though your other criticism was worthy and good. i was going more for a Camusian, existential tale of some sort. it ...

Run cool moonlight, so tender and pure, weeping eyes of heaven. silver arrows down to earth, gentle and slow like a lover's hand, illuminating the path before the seeker. his ...

i think this is very poor. just very, very bad. it's not even a poem. it doesn't flow at all. imagine that i am in a car. and i am ...

you should probably make it a free verse epic poem. either that or blank verse. i think that'd add an interesting twist to it. but i don't think it should ...

hmm. i like. i certainly do like. it's really a surreal photo album of a poem. it painted a very clear picture of decadence in my mind. it quickly and ...

i'd suggest scrapping this and create something else with the same concept. the frame of this is poor. i'd say make it into less of a dialogue and more of ...

it does seem to be a collection of inspirational phrases. although it can be stream-of-consciousness, it needs a little bit of a connecting strand. i'd suggest starting out with these ...

Grace mad flashes of dawn, fingers of light raining down in ecstasy, eyes of god on the horizon, the glory of a new day. the Watcher cries out, the second ...

Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac for the Beat Poets. They have excellent flow, as it is meant to be read aloud, and can be both spiritual and political, but mostly ...

if a twilight fan passes in front of me tomorrow uninvited, i will slay it with a religious fervor. their blood is on your collective hands, for bringing up twilight. ...

now that's what i call criticism! much thanks. i am implementing many, probably all of your suggestions, as you speak the undeniable truth. again, thankee.

hmm, well sir, i do not think you are in a position to be making demands of me. in fact, i consider that quite arrogant. by refusing to review until ...

The End or Scenes from Armageddon the evening sky is littered with the husks of broken ships forever lost to the rough and windy seas of the night. and as ...

hahaha, i actually really like this. i came in with pretty low expectations, but this was totally unexpected. i can totally imagine someone like Jens Lekman singing this. it's exactly ...