yoha_ahoy

I wrote this a like a year ago. There's parts I like, (mostly the beginning) and there are other parts I hate (near the end). So criticize away. Ghost She ...

I like this too. Its... interesting, but I like it. I don't know how to describe how it makes me feel. Again, interesting... hmmm.

I liked how you put jogging, running, panting, etc. on the next line. It is visually pleasing to me. And about the end there too, I don't know it you ...

Your love is there As I look into your eyes You gaze back at me With understanding Deep luxurious Brown eyes My stomach tightens With the excitement My body sweats ...

BAM! A sort of slap in the face there. A dark mood, and it seems like you were angry when you wrote this. No complaints here.

I agree with Snoink about that part there. It does change suddenly and it caught me off guard. It's a very sweet peom though, and I personally like the repetition, ...

Hehehe... brother's don't you just love them? Ramblings are fine, I ramble a lot. I liked it. It speaks to me... having a brother myself. Annoying brothers grrr....