yoha_ahoy

Great poem. Just needs the simple fixes that WL suggests and it'd be awesome. :D

Interesting. Different. Funny. Not bad. :D

7/10 Funny. :P

8.5/10 Heehee!

EDIT: I accidentally posted this as Chapter 4 first. It's actually Chapter 3. Sorry! Please keep in mind, I have not read though this completely. About all I have done ...

Thank you very much Gannon. I'm grateful that you took the time to go over this in such detail. I'm sure I'll learn a lot from this, and it will ...

Here are chapters one and two of a new story I'm working on. It is a side story taking place in the future, after my 4 book series I'm working ...

The frolicking pony is very pretentious so he always skipped around trees. When suddenly groundhogs attacked nearby settlers who were smoking some turkeys. Howling winds blasted rifles, the men graspe

The frolicking pony is very pretentious so he always skipped around trees. When suddenly groundhogs attacked nearby settlers who were smoking some turkeys. Howling winds blasted rifles, the men graspe

Brilliant. Strong. Emotional... in a distant way. At least in the way I read it. To me, this is an awesome example of great, high-quality poetry. Amazing.

Great imagery, and a really pretty poem. I like it a lot. Erm... nothing much else to say. :D

Way too cliched. Anyone can write this. Sorry to sound so harsh. I started out like that too, but you'll learn and get better. :) Anyways, welcome to the YWS! ...

Mweeee!!! This is fun! :D

Your drawing are awesome. Great character sketches. But the guy on the right of your very top drawing has a screwed up leg/butt. It kinda looks like the pants are ...

Mmmm... that is some beautimous bacon. Your dude's eyes look funky though. Not that you're going for perfection or anything.