yoha_ahoy

Yes, you are correct pain. And thatks guys for the crits! :)

Cliched Heartbreak I thought my heart had been ripped out before, but I think to that again now and it seems silly, compared to this. To find that my loving ...

Thanks guys. Maybe I'll work on it. Maybe not. It isn't hugely important. *shrug* Just playing around. :) chocoholic: Thanks for the other critique too. ^^ And from reading that ...

Hahaha! I actually kinda liked this. First, "tiered" is spelled "tired." And the rhyming is ehhh.... So it needs a little work I'd say. But it's on its way! :D ...

An interesting idea. I think you could work with it. You definitely expand more though. Right now you have the idea and that's all. You need the image that goes ...

Lovely. Very descrpitive. I love the metaphors. Amazing piece overall. Keep it up! ;) ~Yoyo 8)

Not Now What's wrong with me you ask? Some of you don't care Some of you listen with half interest Few of you listen with rapt attention. I say there ...

I like this! It's short and simple. A very 'cute' poem if I may say so. Nothing negative to say really... great job! ~Yoyo 8)

It worked until you got to the last two lines. They just don't fit it seems. I'd play with this though and see what else you can get fom it. ...

Hey! I really like this! I won't comment on the rhyme or the meter, seeing as I am terrible at both. But I absolutely love the imagery you use and ...

Thank you Fangala! I am most definitely not a rhyming person, so I commend you! Haha. As far as it being a metaphor, I guess it can go either way! ...

Feathers rounded phoenix feathers softly, gently graze my cheek dyed with inky tears they retract their fiery fingers as i am left to heal after the burns Sorry it's so ...

I can edit shorter stuff, but I have yet to even touch my NaNo novels from two years ago. Any sugestions on tackling larger projects? ~Yoyo 8)

Aye! I am surprised to see this at 9 pages already! Oy! Well, I'm doing NaNo again. I have to finish my three book, three year series!! :D Yaaayyyy!!! Looking ...

Whoa! Neato! I'm looking forward to seeing this grow! LET THE BRAINWASHING BEGIN!!! Muahaha! :twisted: