yoha_ahoy

Share the Journey I wanna go on an acid trip with you Swinging back and forth Sitting in the sand, running through my hands You always open my eyes, a ...

The Strong Arrow The sinew was pulled taught and the arrow flew true. I felt it hit my heart a second late. My chest ached and a great wind blew ...

I like the general theme and the seasonal theme throughout. I agree that it is awkward in some places though which I'm sure you can figure out. Just work on ...

To my love, the YWS, Thank you for being there, along side my writing, encouraging me to go on with tantalizing, tempting posts of crtiquey wonderment. For over two good ...

Love's Suicide I feel as if I am wasting away, slowly dying, part suicide. It was my choice to love him. But it's his choice to let me die. Love's ...

Welcome to the YWS! I love the rhyme scheme! You're very good at that. And I like it short too. My only complaint, or maybe, question. Should there be a ...

Some pointers, poems don't have to rhyme, nor do they have to have a set rhythm. There's a style called free verse where it has neither rhyme nor meter (rhythm). ...

I agree with kitty15. It's too listy. I saw the repeated "Will you" and cringed. Repitition can be nice, but that's just waaaayyyy too much. My eyes can't take it! ...

Wow! All I can say is great job! You really pulled me into the poem and made me feel like the writer does in this place. Wonderful imagery. I can ...

Sort of like what SeraphTree mentioned, this sound sort of like drama dribble drabble. You don't want to write that "poor me," "look at how terrible my life is" stuff. ...

This sounds more like a rant to someone you're extremely annoyed with, rather than poetry. And I must agree with Via, the formatting is very difficult to read. So take ...

Wow... that's hilarious!! :lol: So whatever happened to the rest of FREAK? Is it ever going to acutally get published? ~Yoyo 8)

Sometimes you just need to vent. I understand. But if you want to write a poem about it. Wait unitl your mind is logical again and then re-evaluate the feelings ...

That's just a fun and happy poem. ^_^ We nned more of that in the world. :D Keep writing it! ~Yoyo 8)

Thanks for the positive reviews guys! I'm really happy with how this one turned out. And I'm really glad you didn't find this to fall under your typical "dpressing love ...