yoha_ahoy

Yes, slow it down, especially the beginning, and please, please, please space out your paragraphs. Normally won't read a ginormous block of text, but this was short enough. So space ...

Augh! Space your paragraphs and I'll come back. Please!!

I really liked this. This actually kept me reading and I can really see how you felt during this. It does seem a bit long, but I'd break it into ...

banned for being younger than me and having more posts

Well, there's gotta be at least a couple thousand Jared Ryan Petersons in the US. No offense, but they aren't the most original names. But hey, all the Jareds I ...

Update!! 8)

I'm not a huge grammarian. BBB and Jabber covered that pretty well. I really liked your action though and the visuals are great! And yeah, whoever said you can't write, ...

Anyone else? :|

Good luck! And we hope to see you back! :D

As stated, I need three poems to put in a contest, and I need help narrowing down my options. Now I have them already posted up here (some are pretty ...

banned for being in a depressing place

It's always Pat Buchanan. ALWAYS! *ahem* I kind of liked "You what, sir?" though. It's like, "You WHAT, sir???" in a tone of disbelief. I don't know what we're disbelieving... ...

Thanks Seree and chayonz. And no, I never did find him. :( I was stupid for not doing anything. I seriously could have. It was just weird, the connection that ...

Thanks Syd and aussie. Hehe... me likes choloclate. *wipes up drool* Um, yeah I know what you mean about extending this though. I typically do short poetry like this, but ...

Thanks! Some of that you misunderstood though (1, 3), and others are stylistic choices (7, 8, 9) and I will not be changing those. But thanks for catching the others! ...