yoha_ahoy

I like this a lot! The rhyming was pretty good. A little off in places, but I'm no expert in that, so I have no suggestions. The one thing that ...

Ahhhh!!! That's it?? I need more! You've got me hooked now. Sorry I don't have much more critique than that. I was to involved in the plot and her feelings ...

Two fixes: "poisonous ivy" should be just poison ivy. And I'd just make it clear that she's writing in her diary from the beginning. At first I didn't know why ...

pretty purple! (what? i like purple! ^_^)

aedomir - Heh. How clever of you! Put your cute face as your avatar! lol *le sigh* All the gorgeous people! But then again, who isn't? :D ~Yoyo 8)

Aw! It's Bear! *Yoyo huggles Bear* :D

Oh man, I died at the ending. It's kind of confusing in parts, but as i understand you rushed to finish it, and ti was late at night so you're ...

I vote for Pat Buchanan at every available opportunity. Hooray Pat! *raises the flags* :elephant:

*Yoyo huggles Snoink*

Woo! I get to be the first to edit this before it's posted! (It's 11:29am for me. :lol: ) I really liked this a lot, how you're stading on the ...

I want a donut now... -__-

Oh my... this'll be interesting.

Hey, I really like this. And I though she joined the mermaids! I never thought she'd drown! :( That'd be too sad! Hehehe, but the ending is good. I like ...

This sound more like prose put into poem format. Poetry is typically more lyrical than narrative, if you know what I mean. The concept is good though. I would develop ...

Ambition A soul-cry in agony behind bitter melodies. Raised in sweet golden tones copper to green. Decomposition doesn't care what it consumes. Age takes its hold. It shakes me gently, ...