yoha_ahoy

This was good. You have all the frustrated emotions down really well. It's really confusing though because all of a sudden there's a Chris and a Dave without any explaination ...

Wow! I'm so flattered on the amount of feedback on this and the reactions! And thanks for your suggestions on fixes PerforatedxHearts, and you suggestion on it being publishable! I ...

Hm, yeah, I know it isn't great. I was mad at the time. I don't write as well when I'm emotional. Sorry my emo-ness came out. XD It made sense ...

Wow. This is gorgeous. The concept behind this is so beautiful and touching. And you used punctuation and capitalization. My only issue, I'd change the colon in line two of ...

Oooh! Lovely. I like the repitition, as Eimear said. Really good though. I love theater and it made me feel like I was back stage. Dunno about the acting part, ...

The first and second stanzas read a lot like prose. I'd change that around so it doesn't. Third stanza, maybe "quote" the italic bit. But definitely capitalize "I've." Fourth stanza, ...

"high" and "bright" ehhh... not quite a rhyme. And "heavily" and "angry" definitely do not rhyme. I read those and I'm just like, "Whoa!" because it's so off. Besides that ...

Wow, I really love this. I think everything is fine just how you have it, contrary to what Bear said. (Sorry Bear!) And it is definitely not cliche. Ignore Simon. ...

Happy Birthday!!! :D :elephant: :smt026 :birthday: :smt026 :elephant:

A Haiku There are some haikus which just don't make sense at all; purple elephants. Just a funny haiku I wrote in my english class when my teacher was explaining ...

Wow. I really liked this. Something about it pulled me in. My only critique would be to capitalize a little bit more. Not every line, but maybe the beginning of ...

The Dreamer’s Reality He was young once the leader in a strong cloud. but as all clouds must, their rain falls he fell to the earth, sad to leave his ...

Woo Pat! *Yoyo prances about with "Vote for Pat" signs* :D

Chevy! I remember you! You are gorgeous. I really love that middle one too. It's very artsy. Roaring Melody - I like the long hair better. ^^ Fabien - You're ...

Awesome! Keep going! I don't want to critique much until the end. I have to know if the theme of the story persists in order to know if anything is ...