yoha_ahoy

K, I'm just gonna blurt out what needs fixing as I read here: Cut down on the description of your character. No one wants to read two paragraphs of physical ...

Once Piper had heard the news that the Princesses were leaving, she immediately went to find Cedrick or Lennel. She wished to help escort the Princesses. Who knows who could ...

Wow. Great piece. Brilliant first stanza. I loved the rhythm of this, and just the feel. You've got style. ;) I've got nothing to complain about! Keep writing! ~Yoyo 8)

Shadows Oh attractive shadow, how your cool blue hues tempt me. Your cool, refreshing puddles seem so inviting, but who knows what lurks in the dark depths of your mysterious ...

Happy Christmahanukwanzaakah! *is about two months late, but oh well* Bertha! XD Oh Em Gee's! My eyes! *trips over chatspeeks and grammatical airors* Ary- er Erago- um... what?! Aw, she ...

TWO shift keys! Hoorah! We are saved! ACKERWITCHIENESSLY? That's a lot of dollars... I wish I had half of those dollars... these make me talk silly. Aww... sad. Chinese knock-offs ...

All the iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's burn my eyes. *cries* Ants, Bugtopia... goal-den crayon eatery... P.P.S You are one funny 100 year old man. O.o

I- I'm crying! *wipes tears* I want a Goal-den crayon too, how silly. (scientific name Draco Clamarius ) good repitition my silly friend. ~Yoyo 8)

I like your modern-art/writing style! Very um... stylish! Lay-ond of Cra-yons... it sounds like something my brother and his friends whould write if they were this brilliant. "You tricky-WICKYNESS! No

Yeah, where'd Pat go. >( I'm super-excited though! I wanna order it! :D I hope there's another one though so I can submit to that. ^_^ I missed the first ...

Man, you're having some word issues aren't you Gweny. Yeah, it's just a tennis ball machine. I did a year of tennis and that's all we called it. ;) ~Yoyo ...

Indeed! :D That was entertaining. Nate or someone was also wreaking havoc in the chat at that time too. :p

Ack me too Layleun!!! I'm doing stage crew for a play this week as well, but I'll still find a way to come on here. XD I'm just a tricky ...

Great story indeed! I think everyone has pretty much covered everything that needed any fixing. This was really good though. Sad that schools have to see such brilliance as threatening. ...

Cool! Great imagery. And the rhyming is decent as well. Great job overall! I hope to see you post some more in the future! Welcome to the YWS! :D ~Yoyo ...