yoha_ahoy

Your Branches Are Mine Our bare-bodied tree limbs, tangled and knotted together with leaves of our poetry, around us like discarded paper skirts. The satin sheets with troubled hills, up ...

Oooh! I get a hill full of Trillium by my house! Pretty pics! ^^ ~Yoyo 8)

sol = soul? undulance = fantastic word there! I love it. :D Great poem! Your rhyming is wonderful. I'm a little picky when I say the ending couplet could be ...

*continued from Part 6 !* Circus Pirates - Part 7 The doors opened outside and a small boy came in carrying a silver platter with a large glazed hunk of ...

Not my favorite. For one thing, I think it's way too short to get the idea across. You've got a lot of thoughts jammed into thirteen lines. If you edit ...

Ooh! I like it! It's very good and very creepy. You have a good use of repitition with the quoted part. It's not the annoying repetition which is good!! I ...

I don't critique parts too, I prefer to review the whole thing. I will definitely contact you then once I finish Circus Pirates! :D ~Yoyo 8)

You've really captured the mood in the funeral of that stuck in between feeling. I've experienced this, and that's just what it's like. Nice descriptions. "But on his cheek, there’s ...

I don't think it's outdated. I think one goal to always work towards is easier navigation and organization. We've got a good system right now, but I feel that somehow ...

Might I say I think your writing style is ingenious and quite witty. I laughed quite a few times. I unfortunately, don't have anything constructive to say other than I ...

Feral Train Cat In the distance, we both heard it. The whistle blew. Her wide pupils darted about anxiously for a moment. Then her head bent down to my ear ...

Man... I missed both. I really must be a hard sleeper then. Earthquakes, trains, thunderstorms... gosh. I could be toted off to Munchkinland and never know it! XD ~Yoyo 8)

"The touch of our lips sent my mind into a primal sate . Our heat overtook the dark room." State? [i]"Our carnal urges flooding out of every pour and spreading ...

Okay, it's good up until the part with the brother speaking here he says, "I don't know, you guys." I can't tell if he's on the phone, or the friends ...

^ is right! I live five blocks from Lake Michigan. < loves living by a beach! ^_^ v didn't know there were beaches on Lake Michigan.