xhalcyonx128

Thank you :-) Generally I don't like to rhyme my poems, thats why I stick with freeverse.

I haven't have time to double check since I got all of the comments (thank you by the way for those) but I don't doubt there are tense mistakes. I'll ...

As I pass out of that old trailer I see the sun stained sky, orange and red, with night fast approaching. Passing the few potted plants, faces drooping towards their ...

very good :-) i look forward to reading the following chapters one thing tho: He was unaware of his beauty, but not his strength you have a double negative; i ...

i like this the only thing is the first three times you use "empty" they make a nice repetive pattern, but the fourth time you don't need it. just say ...

I dont think she was joking persay, but i do wonder if she mentioned that only to spark controversy about her books now that the hype is gone. Cade: i ...

i too wish that this was mentioned even a little bit earlier, but at least his friendship w the man he killed was played up alot. that made me feel ...

as E.B. White once said "Be obscure clearly".

my teacher once taught me something that might help you. when writing poetry you can't just be all philosophical, or else the audience is lost. big balloon words such as ...

Just an FYI, I know this still needs alot of work. I might just turn this into a story, since it does sound like prose. Invisibility's Benefits A fly on ...

I don't have a title yet, but this is the first chapter of the book i started this summer. It's still in progress. It's rated pg-13 because later on there ...

I'm not entirely sure why you put so many commas and used "I" so many times. it seems unnecessary. From what i gathered, this is about sexual abuse. If so, ...

This is good so far, maybe a few tweeks with line order (for instance it might flow better if you left out "to solemn whispers of" and just made it ...

hey, I salute everyone who is reading this; you obviously have a kind enough soul to read the thoughts of a complete stranger. Or so the assumption goes. ;-) Well ...