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Re: Are You Alone In This World?
not bad, this could be a song that a praise and worship band would like. this reminds me of the Psalms, personally im not so much into alot of the ...
Nov 9, 2007 -
Re: Elephants
thats the word i was looking for. thanks :-)
Nov 9, 2007 -
Re: Elephants
This is a poem emulating Gary Soto's "Oranges", about a first experience. This is for my english class, so any critiques are welcome, in fact they are very much appreciated. ...
Nov 9, 2007 -
Re: the wind
i would increase the first stanza, add more detail so the reader can really get a feel for the cool wind streaming through their hair. you want the reader to ...
Nov 8, 2007 -
Re: Retrieving a Swallowed Watch
To delve into the heart of trouble, while the matter is still fresh, is to cut open a live alligator’s stomach searching for a swallowed golden watch. The creature screeches ...
Nov 8, 2007 -
Re: Something Out There
good job at continuing this, but there are a few things you need to clear up. first of all, from ur first few chapters the reader gets the impression that ...
Nov 4, 2007 -
Re: Rumours
i like this alot, i agree that the title gives it away too quickly, but the wildfire analogy is very effective i disagree that it doesnt sound finished, it sounds ...
Nov 4, 2007 -
Re: My Infernal Sight
this is a political statement that i wrote up in math class today. its rough and needs work, so any critique is welcome. I can see nothing here Except an ...
Nov 2, 2007 -
Re: chapters 3-4
chapters three and four for my book. they're both relatively short. enjoy :-) Chapter Three The worst part about being at home during all this is that no one here ...
Nov 1, 2007 -
Re: Snowdrop
im not sure how i feel about this, i like the imagry, but love poems tend to have an air of sappiness, and im afraid this is a tad sappy. ...
Oct 31, 2007 -
Re: chapter two
oh i didnt think about not being able to see him scratch his head, i can easily rephrase that. and thanks for the squadren info, i was wondering how to ...
Oct 30, 2007 -
Re: Something Out There
ok first of all go back and check for tense mistakes, you have a few. ok i wrote this rly long review where i copied and pasted ur story onto ...
Oct 29, 2007 -
Re: The Inspirational Courtyard
Glancing around a high school campus, the quarrels and achievements are worn on every adolescent face. The courtyard, a social beehive. On the left, tenth grade boys, talking about sports ...
Oct 29, 2007 -
Re: How did you find the Young Writers Society?
someone on livejournal posted a link to a "great writers website" and i checked it out and i love it :-) then i sent the link to a facebook group ...
Oct 27, 2007 -
Re: The Hive
this should be longer. i do like the opening with him in the pod or w/e he's in. i'm confused with how he got there though, and whats with the ...
Oct 27, 2007
