xalabasteralienx

i like how you added in lines in the parentheses. it made the poem more fun and childish ( :D ) the sound of the words rolling off your tongue ...

Locked in the basement are secrets growing old; should that be "... our secrets growing old..."? First stanza - ...tortured by their demons... Third stanza - ...torturing the ones they ...

I like the idea, but I would like to have seen a bit more character developement (then again, maybe the story is complete in its shortness). The concept is great. ...

12. Recovery One day. I've spent a whole day without Milo. I've stayed in my room, smoking, sad. My tears still streamed down my face. I could barely breathe. It ...

9. Memorizing As I kissed Milo, I bumped my fingers over the flesh, trying to figure out if it really was a scar. Milo must have sensed my concentration, because ...

8. Awkward Silence/Touch It's been three days since my lust for Milo went a little overboard (and I think the same thing happened to him). He still walks me to ...

6. You and Me So far, the school day was going pretty damn well. Milo walked me to first and second period (where I am now) and is probably going ...

I was just reading over my topic and guess what!?!?!?!?!?! I just realized that I have a fear of pink, but I wear pink pajamas!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :D :D ...

It's Midnight:30 and I'm on Spring Break!!! :D Okay, I live with my parents and our two cats (Zip and Marie (I named them)). When I was little I sprayed ...

I like it. There are a few punctuation mistakes and capitalization mistakes, but I like the plot. There are a few things I'd like to point out personally, though... #1: ...

5. I Love You--In So Many Words I was leaning against the wall, cigarette in hand, and talking to Milo on the phone. He had gotten in a lot of ...

5. I was leaning against the wall, cigarette in hand, and talking to Milo on the phone. He had gotten in a lot of trouble because he broke Sam's nose. ...

5. I was leaning against the wall, cigarette in hand, and talking to Milo on the phone. He had gotten in a lot of trouble because he broke Sam's nose. ...

Thanks for your opinions and critiqueing! :D

Side note #1: Hero, Maryland, is not a real town. Just thought anyone who checks this story out should know that. :) Side note #2: If anyone has any better ...