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This is okay, but really cliche. I think you could improve it a lot more by changing some parts around, making it into your own words instead of those phrases ...

Hello I'll be your reviewer I'm LastPaladin, I'll warn you straight off, I'm extremely harsh, but this is all meant as a way to improve you and only meant to ...

This is good, I like the concept. Though I don't know what a bodega is :lol: , I'm guessing it's a place to buy drugs or something? and censored calloused ...

This is good and original! I like how the hawks can talk to him (Corren?) And some ways you could improve .... It clung to my skin like cold hands ...

Wow, thank you :smt003

'You're fading away' is a better choice. And I really like this poem, it kind of reminds me of myself sometimes. I also think you could do a lot more ...

Sunset, expect this to be your last one with our vast return as your death is set. At three sixes where hill-beacons burn, run- In the darkness, undressed, blood-red, unfed, ...

I like this the way it is already. Good job :)

You did a good job on this, it actually has changed my views on abortion.

I changed the words a little, tell me what you think. :xd:

I like this the way it is, the simplicity and the solitude set the mood. But I do agree with everyone else that it could use some more emotion.

I like the meaning of this, but some parts are confusing. It sounds like in some places there are people talking, and if it is supposed to be that, put ...

It confused me, I didn't really figure out the meaning. I think you should put in punctuation, other than that I liked it, and the winter imagery is good. :)

You did a great job writing this. I've written sonnets before, too, and I'm not that good at it lol. I love the way you used imagery so well.

I like this! I can really relate to it, too. The only thing you need to do to improve it is fix the grammar and capitalize the i's. :]