-
Re: Take Wing [Chapter One]
Good story! And your only 13?!? If I may make some suggestions: “Yeah, but I needed to talk to you about something more important,” he replied, (as fear emerged from ...
Jul 19, 2011 -
Re: The girl in the mirror
This is good, however if I may make a suggestion: The second stanza where you write "where she is..." "where she is..." "where she is..." I think is a little ...
Jul 18, 2011 -
Re: Deep Magic Chapter 1: Part 1
This is good. I made the suggestions I found. Just a note, I think you could probably expand it more. I feel I am reading just the beginning of a ...
Apr 6, 2011 -
Re: 3 Days in Hades
This is really good! I have made my suggestions, and you can either take it or leave it. “Can you tell us what happened?” They asked me. A simple question. ...
Apr 6, 2011 -
Re: Endurance
I limp into myself hiding before fear can find me againI am so afraidIn that darkDusty cornerI find a matchOld and unusedMaybe it can give me warmthThe strike is the ...
Apr 6, 2011 -
Re: Tainted-Chapter 4
This is a great part. I have made suggestions, and you can either take 'em or leave 'em: As soon as I walked into the library, I hit the computers. ...
Mar 29, 2011 -
Re: Dimension Shift -- Chapter One
Good part of the story. Here are some suggestions I have made: The warmth in the air was not unusual. No, even in the cellar the radiator could create such ...
Mar 25, 2011 -
Re: Blackened Runes - Chapter Two
Chapter Two - ...Comes The Flighty Wanderer As soon as the overpowering combination of harsh soap and flowery perfume hit her nose, Ariana distinctly knew she was out of place. ...
Mar 22, 2011
