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Re: Back Down to Earth
Nice rhyme scheme, I like the last two lines
Mar 17, 2011 -
Re: deleted
This is good, I like it
Mar 17, 2011 -
Re: The Firebird
In the second pharagraph, I suggest: The stag breathed a sigh of warm moist breath. Spearing down to a large/smal pool, clusters of thin, ice crystals hung from the roof.
Mar 17, 2011 -
Re: At Dark Forest Gates
Pretty good, Some sentences could be better if you switch them around. I would write, "Seperating out from the mist, Veil noticed a small figure. Creeping up towards the small ...
Mar 17, 2011 -
Re: Warriors: Plain and Simple
Thats good!
Mar 17, 2011 -
Re: Evil Angel Chapters 1 & 2
Great character names, watch the grammer though, and in some places I think the sentences could be better
Mar 17, 2011 -
Re: The Sizzling Six
Nice job, I think if you work on your grammar and some description, this could make a great story!
Mar 17, 2011 -
Re: Things that should remain things
I think its well written. I liked the last paragraph on courage
Mar 17, 2011 -
Re: Freshman Fantasies in a Two-Hour Motel Room
This is pretty good, however I think it could be even better by changing how the sentences read
Mar 17, 2011 -
Re: Confessions of a Dying Soldier [Poetry Pairs]
I think this is good! You really know what the solider is feeling in the first couple of stanzas
Mar 17, 2011 -
Re: The War of Time: The Destiny of Themeus-First Ch. 2nd draft
Chapter 1: A Royal Boy Blue skies, green trees, and peaceful waters, that was what the Dawning Age looked like twenty-five years later, since the death of Demetrian on that ...
Mar 17, 2011