writewannabe

I hope you are still writing since this was written in 2005. The frist two paragraphs were very descriptive and most readers will be able to visualize the rest of ...

Okay this is very well written and I hope that you did continue with this, since this was written several years ago. I am not going to mention anything about ...

Another great read. Maybe the only suggestion, agreeing with another poster, is to have your MC have another encounter with Eric before going on the adventure. Maybe break this chapter ...

This is from another review Dad should not be capitalized. I disagree with it because, in my opinion Mom and Dad are proper names. Maybe I am wrong. A good ...

“Alert, we have a breech, I repeat, we have a breech! This may be a run-on sentence. It may be better to read as “Alert, we have a breech! I ...

This is a very good poem. Maybe not a sonnet like that guy who wrote Romeo and Juliet. But from start to finish it flowed very smoothly. I did not ...

that is a great idea! It can add so much more to the story.

OKAY this is a submission that was done in 2004. I wonder if you are still around to read reviews. This was very good and well-wriitten. Not to mention that ...

This is very well-written. It reminds me of the Max Ride series. Maybe you can add more to this and make it into a novella or maybe even a Novella. ...

This is very well-written. I like the rhyming scheme. Then I reread it when I realized that it is a Christian poem. Excellent job.

This is from another comment "A very wordy paragraph, with heavy description! Cut back a lot of it; the way I see it you could mush this into three sentences ...

For the next few months, Maria continued her training as a warrior. Just as Geoffrey said, things got easier for her. While she took many falls and blows at first, ...

Maria walked slowly to a tree and slumped down to the ground, resting her back against the tree. She took her helmet off her head and set it next to ...

I'm just joined YWS yesterday. I am trying to do read several entries a day and write some type of review. So I am hitting the older ones first. This ...