writergirl007

Hey love! Just wanted to say hi! XD I miss you! Lol. Can't wait to see you Friday! Jamie Bondage

"The first time I saw him was when I was walking through the hallway with my friends. friend Ash and I saw him for the first time that morning." This ...

"He looked down the terminal. He had to go soon. She smiled at him. His heart beat faster." This is too broken up. Try to combine it. Like: "He looked ...

"The self-imposed keeper of “order” who had chased him this deep into the forest threw his blackened, now useless torch to the ground." Comma after order, comma after forest. "Mori ...

"He yelled with pain each time he landed painfully on the ground, branches and rocks scattered all over and denting his armor painfully into his skin." You use "painfully" twice. ...

" The girl’s words echoed, lingering in the light of the moon beams. “So am I.” The boy echoed back." You use Echo twice. Try a different word. Repeating yourself ...

These are absolutely the best books ever! I love them! I got addicted after the first line in Twilight! No Kyte, it's not. It's a love series. THis girl falls ...

Thanks. Glad you like it. Also, thanks for the critique. I think this is one of my better pieces. I love heroines instead of heros! Being a girl, I tend ...

Her eyes glistened with the reflection of the morning sun as it rose high into the sky. Anticipation coursed through her exhausted body, sending pulses of energy running through it, ...

I don't like the intro. I prefer the story just to start. I don't want to be told what is happening, I just want to get into the actual story. ...

Why must stories be so long!!!!!!! UGH! Lol. Well,...I am sure it's just as amazing as everything you do. I just read the first part. I don't really like the ...

Amazing! Outstanding! I loved it! It was so detailed and perfect! I wish I could write like this! It should be longer though. Or more chapters. THis doesn't make much ...

I liked this. Normally, I don't critique series, but I thought someone should. XD. I really do like it. It is just really short, even if it is just a ...

I loved this! It is a little vague, but it is really sweet. I think that it describes everything perfectly. The feelings that she's going through and how she found ...

This was so sweet and romantic I just had to comment! I absolutely loved it! XD. The only thing I found wrong was that it wasn't long enough!!!