writ3rindisguis3

Much better chapter! Yay, you're now explaining the title of the story!!! The first day of our 'relationship' was perfect. Absolutely, incredibly, 100% Please spell this out. It makes it ...

Good job for your second poem! They are gone forever, Ripped from my life with one tear. Sleeping in heaven without a care. Tear and care don't rhyme. Try a ...

Chapter 4 Redeemer Something smacked against the creature on top of me. Her teeth jerked out of my skin as she flew backwards. Snarling erupted in the distance. A fire ...

Very nice poem, indeed. Love the rhyming and rythm. I, too, love shoter poems, and this was fabulous. You placed all the commas in the right places. I applaud you ...

Very dramatic poem! I loved the way you wrote a picture. This was very descriptive and detailed. Terror rolled towards us I agree with elephantwalrus that there is no towards. ...

My critique isn't going to help very much either. I loved this! Your rhyming rocks! This is such a short and sweet poem. This poem was very entertaining and captured ...

The third chapter! Chapter 3 Attack The brisk wind blew against me, sending shivers throughout my body. I pulled my coat around me tighter. I walked down the dark street, ...

Well, first of all let me say, it was okay. I just think this is a typical teen romance. This first chapter didn't really capture my attention. Try some other ...

Aha, great chapter! I love the Star Wars movies! I feel like a total nerd when I talk about the movies too... :oops: After all, approaching him that day was ...

I love this picture! Eclipses are so pretty and amazing. I've seen a lunar eclipse and thought it was awesome. Try cutting out some of the black. I absolutely love ...

Oooh, snow! Wow, it's so white. I like this picture! Florida never gets any snow and I'm jealous. ^_^

Woohoo! Chapter 2 is up!!! Critique please! Chapter 2 Safe I cautiously walked up to my front door, peeking in the window to make sure my father was asleep. The ...

Wow, an Ode to us writers! Amazing. I totally loved it! The ending was kind of abrupt and left me hanging. I think there might be something more you could ...

I really like this lyrical song. I too, want to hear the words with music. I think it would sound beautiful. Sometimes, When the winds get rough, I think of ...

Awesome job! I love to read people's ideas on how Edward's and Bella's wedding might be. This is one of my more favorite works! Watch your grammar in places. “ ...