whence

For a first poem... It shows a level of workability, I suppose. I suggest this: Read. A lot. of poems, that is. I'm constantly reading, and thus constantly learning, new ...

Not sure what you mean.... So I'll go for politely confused, mmk? :D

I'll do an edit eventually :p But yeah...I'd also love to hear this to music. I'm intrigued as to how it would turn out myself. But I'm no musician, by ...

Eh, no pressure. Tie's pretty open on non-commital relationships. So no jealously of V is needed, I assure you.

It was intended to be about the unavoidability of life; to contrast the oft used unavoidability of death. However, this was more me playnig around with phrasings then anything, and ...

Rod scanned the Newspaper... It was blank, as expected. They delivered it regardless, a sort of comfort, reminding them of when their job had purpose. When anything had purpose other ...

I trudge the sludge of finite life whence ether was adorned; with both fudge and grudge in sight of strife hence never to ebb mourned... ...masses give and masses take ...

Ahh...this piece could've been so much more. I think you could integrate ambiguity wonderfully here. For instance, you out-right say 'It spits out my new portrait'. Instead, you could've left ...

erm.... It seemed rather laughable. What with the near-shallow subject matter and the weird addition of the 'I've got the blues' line. It made me think of the kids in ...

honestly, it was rather predictable. I've heard a hundred songs just like it. You've got solid form, just work on presenting your thoughts in a unique manner. Good Luck ~Ed

Thankee much, oregon. Any crits? anyone? [I'll give 2 in return :p ]

never be...what? Overall, it was rather cliched and simplistic Yes, yes... 'no one understands me! *slits wrist to the sounds of Simple Plan* WAHHH- Is all good and well if ...

Eh...Let's see.... You started with a simile. That can be good. But it used a rose. That's not necessarily-so-good. Roses are the single most-used items when comparing anything to anything ...

*edited to be rated R, in accordance with the rules* Please see here for further details: I All stories and poems must be rated accordingly. If they have vulgar language, ...

I never really got accustomed to what I suppose is now the 'old' YWS, but I'm sure I can still appreciate the new one :P