whence

If done correctly, this could be interesting. But so far, it seems to lack enough detail to present intrigue-building plotlines. Well, I'd say work on what you've got before posting ...

You REALLY need to learn to proofread before you post. There were some simple, yet glaring errors in this. Simple grammatic slips, a missing word or two, but they make ...

I didn't get past the first couple paragraphs. I'm assuming you meant 'Daily Dues Inn'. Not proofreading your work shows unprofessionalism-- which in turn scares away potential readers. Also, fix ...

Prepare yourself-- this is a rather harsh critique Tears in her eyes, she walked down the bustling city street. I could find this opening line in a thousand other generic ...

It sounds like an Irish drinking song on crack. Try revamping your flow. And your WAAY repative with 'love'. Also, it outright states what happening. Try hinting at it. It'll ...

Welcome! Finding Nemo? Did you know that Ellen is dating Lindsay from Arrested Development? But it was....cancelled! -sobs into keyboard- I'm Ed. Welcome.

Hm...there certainly seems to be several people with nearly the same username, wot?

I really hope you don't plan on always posting in pink. Cuz I think I'll puke if you do. Anyway, I'm Ed. Or whence. Or Stabby (to some). And I ...

Wow. No responses... Where are all the greeters? How discouraging this must have been... Regardless-- Welcome. I'm Ed, and I'm confused by your confusion. :)

I echo everyone else. It was good, but it was too short. You might of wanted to add more detail. -- M.B.Author How can you be echoing me if you ...

*pokes toxic furiously* is she alive?? She hasn't exactly been active 'round here

Ok, now I've actually read this. This entire poem contradicts itself. Even the first two lines do: "I'm not emo I'm just always misunderstood. " Well, good luck with your ...

Black box, jack box, lend me your ear; and I'll keep twirlin' despite my fear. Dark box, stark box, loan me your nose; 'round and 'round the shiny crank goes. ...

This sounds like you sat down one day with the intent to write a poem. So you began... 'One part builder', well that sounds interesting enough... but how to make ...

Ahh...the irony. I liked the 'uncertain motives' of Rufus at the end. And the operative's reactions :p.