whence

ah, I do love a good extended metaphor :D In the instant I noticed that there was another line, italicized and separated, I became extremely wary. A gimmick like that ...

well, you're lucky, 'cause abstracts fit in nicely with my tastes :D However, I do have to agree that you need to work on being emotive. This was good, and ...

well, you've got some images here (rainbow bleeding, swimming through hazy aqua eyes), but the flow (especially in S1) was off. In fact, it seemed more like borderline lyrical prose ...

I posted this separately because I'm not yet sold on the new version. ~~~~~~~~ Crack a cap, to slip it back; lubricated down confines of your throat. Mobile weight that ...

if you're gonna lose a boob, I spose that's the best way to do it. ... Anyway, I really like this one. It isn't quite your usual disney style, and ...

eck, not stirly syndrome again -rolls eyes- First you infest TW with your virus, and now that you've sucked the life out of it, you go for YWS?!?! Soon we'll ...

on second thought, never mind :p I was under the impression that you posted four Dramatic poems in a day; but it was just some bumps :D happy writing ~Ed

Wow, I come back to see so many luverly comments :D Yes, I have a general problem with making things too abstract, and I'll do an edit on this just ...

is it just me, or if you stare at the pupil does it flash a picture of a burning cross every minute or so?

might I suggest 'Other'? Believe it or not, there those who actually browse that section :)

the over-wordyness didn't bode well with me; and it contrasted unpleasantly with the general light mood to this. there's not much weight behind the words. Yes, it was meant as ...

I do believe this is the first piece of yours I've read. I was pleasantly impressed. So, rather then gripe on flaws, I think I shall propose a challenge in ...

contest is over, now I can crit :D But still, rather then covering specific content, I'll be general in hopes to help you as a poet, not just this poem. ...

the flow got iffy at parts, and the repetition clashed with my inner-poetic righteousness. But I'm in a rambly mood, so that probly won't make sense. Regardless, this seemed over-simplistic ...

gah. My neighbor has been bugging me for 6 months to watch those movies.