whence

Freckles trace the trail[ing place] At stead where tip meets lid[lash grace]. Crest of fingerprint[embrace] Ear-tip-to-cheek-hid[en chase] where F inger A nd fre C kle collid E

42 pages?? The gods must have intended for this to be when I discovered this thread. Welcome to 42 pages worth of newcomers :p

'lo Silv. I'm Ed. -points down- That's my signature. And possibly other posts. I really can't be certain at this point.

Imp, you should probably know that you would've gotten 2nd, but you deviated from the form. The first line of this should've been " sanctus , sanctus , spills" according ...

ok, I'll do another edit when I get home [imma be leaving in a mo'], but I just thought I'd clear up some points. Disambiguation time! *(I know a poem ...

Oh, I ruin library books all the time. Burn em, soak 'em in water, squash the binding, and my favorite thing to do is rip out the pages that are ...

gah. Preaching + Poetry = Not good. you're scolding the reader. That's not cool. Also, it means that throughout this entire piece you're telling us what's going on. Instead, show ...

was this even meant as an essay? Because as it is now, it's more along the lines of 'structureless rant'. Good luck with the revise, ~Ed

Did spell check do you some great personal wrong? Simple errors show a lack of concern for your work. Which means there's no reason it should concern others.

well you seem almost delusional enough to fit in. Welcome to the chaos. ~Ed

Well you sound agreeable enough. :D I'm Ed, and you may call me such; though you're equally free to coin a new moniker if you so wish. I'll have my ...

'The conformity is over'? 'Fraid not. Lines like 'turning a new leaf' are all lovely in their own, horrible, usedsomanytimestheymakemepuke way. Use that lump between your shoulders and write , ...

ok, I'm gonna grip a bit here... I fully understand how you felt when writing this. I grasp it's content, and can note the emotion. However, I don't feel that ...

it seemed to lack much in the way of emotives; that is, it didn't make me feel what you felt when you wrote it. And when I first read it, ...

overall-- good. it was just 'picture perfect' that bothered me to no end. You have a nicely fresh piece here, why taint it with this dreadful cliche? I don't know. ...