whence

My mom's sort of supportive... I guess. I make a point of showing her some of my stuff every now and again, and it's enough to satisfy her, so that ...

Mafia-esque critting group? Where do I sign up?

and perhaps you should be prepared to receive any and all criticism gracefully before posting your work on a literary site. You're as tactless as this piece, and seemingly just ...

oh yeah, as a note: The title isn't meant to insult Mormons whatsoever. It's referring to the Donner party (as is the alternative title type thing)

Yes, but I'm debating as one without faith. So...yeah. Good luck convincing me on that point :D (meaning that I'm doing this all under the assumption that the Bible is ...

ok, thanks a whole friggin' lot Claw. I did some fairly major edits, but I still need to cut out about 250 words.

Yes yes, original sin. All nice and good. But my point is that all the serpent was right. He opened their eyes, and they knew good and evil. And once ...

the knees make me gag. But yes, very personalityified. Erm. Yes, that's now a term.

Yes Claw, but isn't still legit? [w/o brackets, that is] Well, it's a bit less clear, and it changes the meaning a bit; but I hoped it worked. And yes, ...

Whetstone dance on dinner-knives To receive my guests so wholly; They should’ve heard, in my eyes A pallid affair unholy. Smacking lips, cracking hips Percussions from the side. Slacking grips, ...

On a random note: I was looking through the picture thread, and saw the picture. Yeah, that jacket is pretty freaking awesome. But in additional regards to the poem: I ...

This...did nothing for me. The girl's description was vague and generalized. It gave me no insight into who she was, or what this poem was even about. Though unlike Claw, ...

I love your voice, really I do. But this one didn't quite fulfill your usual....ness.Yeah... I guess it was a little too...expected? "We thought about death, the solidity of walls, ...

Or maybe the snake wasn't bad at all. It offered them wisdom. It offered them insight, a sense of self-actualization. God hated the newly-wise Adam and Eve, and chucked 'em ...

Stanza two seems overdone. Or something... idk. But the actual events are well-done and concrete... I think what it could be lacking are literary devices. Well, at least I think ...