whence

I love the fishies one :D the colors just complement each other wonderfully

Aghh. Is this past or present tense? Because at the moment, I'm killing myself trying to figure it out. Please, pick one and go through and edit it accordingly.

Most of you sound ridiculous. You are all looking at the poem from the wrong perspective. NONE of this was forced rhyming. I'm looking at it from a reader's perspective. ...

Erm.. First off, poems should never have, or need, a preface. It just puts the reader off and shows the piece itself is lacking. As for content.... try to go ...

And besides *WERE* the Mafia here. WE'LL do the extorting thank you. And the racketeering. And money laundering. And rum running, and bootlegging, and whore-housing, and.... bounty collecting?

Yesh, but in this case I'm pretty sure they're simply called 'nameplates', Claw. xD

I think her arms are too straightened out or something... If that makes sense. But overall, I was totally right. It's pretty much amazing.

AAAAND yes, I did focus mainly on rhyming I think that sums this up well enough. A poet is supposed to show mastery over a language. This showed that language ...

ok, you might think it a cop-out, but I liked the was just too ambiguous. Now, hopefully with the new title it'll be clearer.

This seems so fake to me. You fabricate these feelings, you douse it all with unfitting, overdone vocabulary and needless archaism, and it just makes the whole thing seem hollow. ...

6.4/10 It seems too semi-cartoony for my taste. -shrug-

'lo Kitty. You'll probably need to come up with alternative nickname's, as we have several 'kitty's already ;) Welcome to YWS! I'm Ed, and you can feel free to PM ...

First off, here's a link that I think'll help, plus reading it will make Claw happy: Poetry and Punctuation Now, you've got a couple internal rhymes here, and they work ...

Hahaha, never mind. I'd misread this part: "He had told me he loved me everyday since Rocco’s decease. " My bad. It makes a lot more sense now ;) As ...

thank you all (Especially Colleen :) ) for the wonderful critiques. I'll get an edit out as soon as I can.