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Re: Light up.
~Based on Leona Lewis' song, Light Up.~ Light up, run. All they can do is catch you. Joints burning, sky blazing, you look into the setting sun. Cop cars surrounding, ...
Apr 17, 2010 -
Re: Letters to my mother
Okay. So you cant be Baby. You have to be this 10 yr old girl who lives whith her aunt and 2 cousins. She writes letters to HER mother telling ...
Apr 17, 2010 -
Re: Hello!!!
I love YUMMY SMELLING SOAP TOO! *Highfives* Welcome to the wonderful land of YWS, we will give you theoretcal cookies, ALL THE TIME! Actually, no, but..... WOO. I hope you ...
Apr 16, 2010 -
Re: Today
This is a very beautiful poem. However, the lines are all over the place. Try your best, when writing, to look at these things; line size, flow, etc... It was ...
Apr 16, 2010 -
Re: You know you want one.
Okay, sorry, but i really need my poem reviewed. *GLOMPS* Its an acrostic poem so if its choppy, blame the style :) :elephant:
Apr 16, 2010 -
Re: a tapestry of textures
these are amazing. *LIKES*
Apr 16, 2010 -
Re: Roberto Who Was Greedy
That was so funny! I loved the ending :) I liked the constant rhyming and such, really good. One word filled his mind, that word being FEED!So late one night ...
Apr 16, 2010 -
Re: Looking up at the Starry Sky
This is really nice, I liked it. You describe things really well. Every stanza connects, its really good. I hope you have a lot more like this up you sleeve, ...
Apr 16, 2010 -
Re: YWS Classroom
YAY I WAS LEFT OUT. :) Now i shall leave you with the most disturbing thing ever. The dancing. Pink. Elephant! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH :elephant:
Apr 16, 2010 -
Re: The Last Dance (fixed)
This is sweet. The tense is all over the place, the grammar is awful (sorry), and the story is just way too fast paced for me. This would be more ...
Apr 16, 2010 -
Re: Letters to my mother
Okay
Apr 16, 2010 -
Re: I'd lie
Really cool. Today, fish don’t swim. Today, birds don’t fly. And today, hearts don’t beat. Today, fish plunge into the pristine depths of oceans, ponds, and lakes. The sun bouncing ...
Apr 16, 2010 -
Re: Letters to my mother
Its like the book, so we just write letters, in character, to our late mother. And yeah.. lol, you might have to read the book :)
Apr 16, 2010 -
Re: Why is Maxie here?
This is good, Tenyo. But, you barely have a hook, I struggled to finish this the first time I read it and didnt bother review. But then you asked me ...
Apr 16, 2010 -
Re: Your special day. ~mostly for girls~ *edited*
This is really nice. It's short and sweet. One thing to be careful about its the size of each line, they vary a lot in this. But good work for ...
Apr 15, 2010