wewinwelose

This is actually pretty good, I liked the flow and the rhyme scheme. The only thing I suggest is adding more to it. It is really straight forward but the ...

I have to say, you might possibly have a good idea and/or story line, but this isn't really a poem. You're trying to write too much without making it flow. ...

Thanks everyone, I'm glad most of you liked it :)

This is a really good poem with a really good theme, but I think you are WAY too hung up on rhyming. First off, your rhyme scheme is totally wack, ...

Rawr, okay great poem first off, but it did lack a certain emotion. I think you have the makings of a great poem, but I do think you should add ...

Alright, bear with me on this one I literally JUST wrote it as I was sitting typing it us, so this is LITERALLY the first draft. Not even a paper ...

I have to be honest, I don't understand this at all. It's short and it's unspecific and the topic jumps every other line (which isn't saying much since there's not ...

I have to say, the poem was good though it was definitely not my cup of tea. I liked it as a poem, but it was a bit too gory ...

I love the poem, great great great job, but some stuff did throw me off. Check your meter, a few of the lines are just a beat or two too ...

I liked the ending of the poem a lot, the last stanza had a bunch of emotion and was really great, there are a few things I see though that ...

This is a first draft that I wrote in about ten minutes, so be harsh, cause it needs a lot of work I'm sure..... I'll pick up my weapons, You ...

Alright, starting out with this poem it is absolutely great, but I do think it could be even better. I love the first few stanzas, and I love how you ...

Alright, I'm gonna try and help y'all out real quick. This is just the writers interpretation and is up for changing into whatever fits the reader's state of mind: The ...

Thanks for the advice, I'll try to see what I can do about the language. As for the rhyme scheme, this is the scheme I use in more than half ...

There are many literal poets who are not going to understand this poem. Please try to fully understand it before commenting, it is a tad confusing (I can see the ...