u-dot

Chapter One: “Hi,” A girl said as I stepped into the Durango. “How are you feeling?” “Ok I guess,” I answered confused. “That’s my sister Shay,” Rachel said, pointing to ...

Agian, Turns mean Years. Chapter One: Krystal’s Departure Dais Venis could probably be called the most beautiful city in the world but, sadly, hardly anyone ever came to see its ...

NE but that is not good enough. You need to actually crit every paragraph if you think i'm ever gonna crit your stuff.

By the way, Turns are years. i'm gonna change it but i haven't gotten around to it yet. Prologue to The Blood of the Phoenix The sun sets, bringing darkness ...

I really liked the story and I do think Snoink got all the technical stuff so i'll work on the plot. I think you should explain more just Why your ...

Hey, I don't even think you need this. Just start out into the story. It could become confusing for some readers if you throw this in at the very beginning. ...