twilightxd

Hey, I'm going to critique the second scene. Tim: Uncle Bill gave it to me it’s a gift did he give you a gift? this should probably be three sentence ...

How he was in the Titanic. And Ryan Sheckler before he cut his hair. And Chad Michael Murray how he was at the Freaky Friday premiere, when his hair wasn’t ...

At exactly three o’clock, I went over to the school’s library to meet Jasper. I found him sitting at one of those small, round tables reading a book. “What are ...

this is really good and found it pretty funny. :D :D I liked how you introduced the story in the beginning and the characters. I also think you made the ...

This is extremely long. I think you should only post one scene at a time or maybe that's just me. Anyways I'm going to critique the first scene and then ...

The next morning, my alarm clock woke me up at the same usual time. Groaning and cursing under my breath, I turned off my alarm clock. I pulled the covers ...

OK I agree with niccy, this is too long and should be posted separately in chapters, but I can see you put a lot of work into this so I'm ...

OK I liked your writing and your storyline, but I think you changed scenes a little too fast and you didn't give that much of a back story. you need ...

Thanks for the reviews. They really helped. I'm posting more soon.

After lunch, I had my math class which I spent most of my time doodling or daydreaming. My last class like my first one was the one I hated the ...

I got inspired by a book I am reading and got stuck galfway of what I was writing. Halfway I heard nothing at first but as I recovered from a ...

ok this was prety good I like how your charecter has a critical condition, but that doesn't stop her. Plot: Ok consitering this is the first chapter I think you ...

It is supposed to be a fantasy romance story kinda like twilight except a different plot and there aren't any vampires or werewolves.

Jen walked up behind me. “Who was that you were passing notes to?” she asked. Suddenly, after meeting Jasper, I no longer felt mad at Jen. “Some guy that lives ...

I knew what this must be. Heaven. the period before "Heaven" is really not necessary because the two sentence obviousely go together. Just then, Carter Snow, my father, walked into ...