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Re: Fading Rainbow (ch 2)
I felt no pain as I blinked my eyes opened. For a minute all I could see was the whiteness of the hospital room, but as my eyes adjusted I ...
May 10, 2009 -
Re: Assination Chapter 1 (incomplete)
OK there's not much left for me to say pandapez pretty much covered it all. I think your story line is good, but like pandapez said you need more feeling ...
May 8, 2009 -
Re: Inalienable Chapter 1 (I made revisions!)
I blinked repeatedly but my eyes were still unused to the unusual darkness around me. u need a coma before the "but" I tried to stand but felt ropes cut ...
Apr 8, 2009 -
Re: confusion
idk about anybody else, but I know I really want to here more and wondering where and how far are u going with this. katie this is good writting u ...
Apr 2, 2009 -
Re: Fading Rainbow (ch 1)
If you want to read this story go to Trainwreck- chapter one by Alfreto :D
Apr 2, 2009 -
Re: Forbidden Worlds (ch 9 &10)
Ok I apoligize ahead of time if this is too long, but chapter 10 is really short and I haven't posted in a while. Please read on because chapter ten ...
Jan 21, 2009 -
Re: The Strangest Hero EDIT: more added
September 8th, 2006, the first time I walked down the hallways as a senior. I had my two best friends by my side, Heather and Ashley. We have been inseparable ...
Jan 21, 2009 -
Re: The end of the pier
This was a really good short story I liked the beginning with all the detail about the beach and the happy ending. the only thing that I saw that you ...
Jan 15, 2009 -
Re: Forbidden worlds (ch 8)
When the movie was over and we were back at my house, I stood in the bathroom staring at myself in the mirror. The short turquoise dress sat on my ...
Jan 12, 2009 -
Re: Kids in the playground
This was really good, I loved it! :D I liked how you used a very short simple story and made it longer by adding many of your thoughts about it. ...
Jan 11, 2009 -
Re: Demi-Demons
She was the girl you want but never able to get her, you need a coma before the "but" "Niki, Trevor's coming you better pull your act together." Stevie said. ...
Jan 11, 2009 -
Re: Forbidden Worlds (ch 7)
When I opened my eyes, I was in was in my own room in my bed. The sun shone brightly through my opened window. Remembering what happened last night, I ...
Jan 9, 2009 -
Re: Cryptic
Ok this is good. :D There are only a few places where you forgott the coma, but when you reread it your sure to find them. I like how you ...
Jan 9, 2009 -
Re: Sweet Little Felicity
ok I don't really know where your going with this. I liked the way you put detail and emotion into this, but I can't see why you started with when ...
Jan 9, 2009 -
Re: Forbidden Worlds (ch 6 revised)
Jasper turned left to right in front of the mirror inside the Hollister store, admiring the new clothes he was trying on. He wore a gray Hollister shirt and a ...
Jan 6, 2009
