turity

Hi, I liked reading through this piece but here are some things I think you can fix and refine to make it even better. First off, you constantly switched tenses ...

It was strange falling asleep after eighteen years of sleepless nights. Lean was not a stranger to closed eyes, but keeping them closed for more than fifteen minutes was an ...

Wow you’re character sounds really disturbed, which I guess is the point? =) I love how your opening paragraph is direct and to the point. Your sentences are also nice ...

Disgusting, thought Bane when he sensed the scent. Disgusting needs quotation marks or italics to differ it as a thought and not narration. "Sensed the scent" sounds awkward. You can't ...