tonten

This was totally knew to me Knew = new? Not bad, I like how you get straight to the point and your use of first person narrative. The emotions portrayed ...

good usage of third person point of view to portray the protagonist's feelings. I like the concept/idea of the story.

is very strange. But, try as I might, I couldn't find anything awkward about your sentence structure. Your friends must be mistaken. :D No real critique. Although I do like ...

I wrote a very silly story last year, when I was exploring with point of view. I'm wondering if anyone can give me any critiques or some helpful suggestions? The ...