tommyknocker

Wow, i don't read many stories in 2nd person view and i guess it showed when i had to re-read this. Once i did, i began to understand. It is ...

How old is your brother? Anyhow, it took me two or three read overs to fully understand this very short story. But i think if your brother was to stretch ...

I ain't feeling the emotion your trying to convey here. I like it, don't get me wrong. But, try to immerse yourself in the character, become the person in this ...

Just keep going. Don't get bogged down. Just keep the words flowing, even if you don't think the story is gelling together. Don't lose hope!

I started writing this story about 12 months ago, and i haven't actually written any more on this for about 10 months. :? I understand that it's quite long so ...

Blood dripped from her small sharp blade, it twinkled serenely in the moon light filtering through her window. The droplets forming a small, shallow pool beneath her elegant and expensive ...

Dark shadows and strange shapes danced around Jason Dillinger's room. He lay in his bed small relatively comfortable bed. He was hugging his favorite toy-a stuffed chicken. One of the ...

A young man called Billy O'Hara walked down a desolate forgotten road. He had a noticeable swagger in his stride. His worn down raw hide boots clicked softly on the ...

Hi, thanks to all who commented thus far. Yes, it may feel cluttered and a bit under done. I just wrote it on impulse, for i had this dream involving ...

3/6/1995. You can’t see it, but I can. As I write this I’m staring at the woman of my dreams. Her long golden hair billows serenely in the wind of ...

Crisp and Clean A retired Janitor named John May sat drinking and smoking on his front porch. His faded stone blue eyes scanned the road for his guest. His lips ...

Well, you reviewed mine so i will return the favor. (But be warned I'm not that good at critiquing) Ah, at the very start i was confused. But i soon ...

Hey, it wasn't harsh. Thanks! I wrote this for a competition a while back and it had to be under 500 words so that's why the ending may feel compact,abrupt ...

Jean Pierre was standing hands in his expensive French coat. He was staring down at the latest murder victim in in a string of prolific killings in the ghettoes of ...

“You’re not really here”. I frowned. “Pardon?” You’re not here” the woman repeated, turning to face me. Her irises looked luminescent in the neon glow of the subway station, “you ...