tommyknocker

Hey, I agree Sargsauce. I write stories on a whim. I think I should really flesh it out and develop it more. I hating writing cliche stories, and I felt ...

We see a small shrub shake gently in the still summer air. It quivered as if cold. The wind whispered it's secrets in between the tall brown trees and the ...

Hi there. And that makes three of us. The first paragraph. Very confusing indeed. I think re-think that, and make it flow better with the direction of your story. Not ...

American: 22 Canadian: 4 English: 11 Filipino: 5 Finnish: 2 French: 2 Indian: 5 Irish: 1 Italian: 1 Puerto Rican: 1 Scottish: 1 South African: 1 South Korean: 1 Welsh: ...

Hi there! Tomm here to comment. Okay, this is very well written. I'm just hoping that your, "Cliffhanger." Is something BIG. And worth the wait. For the most part. I ...

Hi there. I did like this, but I also got a bit lost in the middle there. Was it a flashback? Or was she just remembering past events? I just ...

Hey there. This is really wacky. (But in a good way!) I love the original plot. Fantastic. But why does the fish not like the, "Horrible dystopia." I think you ...

Hi. I really liked this story. But I didn't get much for the surroundings. Where are they? Whats a "ground car." I'm sure you all get it here but for ...

Hi there! Ah, the classic story of love in school. Although this was very well written. I do have one thing to say. As I was reading, I was just ...

Hi there. I agree with ASH. There are a few holes in this story but there more like pin pricks in paper, than a volcano's crater... In other words they ...

Hi, Tomm here to comment. I love the first sentence: "She’s sitting in a cot in a cold, white box." Really mysterious. Makes me want to read on. Good job. ...

Hi there! First off the first line: "I was completely smacked for words...." I think re-phrasing that line would make it seem less.....Awkward. Also, she has no friends? Elaborate. Why ...

Hi. I really liked this piece and your MC's throughout were excellent. However, I have a few questions. Was your character a boy or a girl? Haha. Why was your ...

If i could only hold you in my arms one last time. Feel the comforting warmth of your body against mine. Our hearts beating as one for all time. I ...

Dude, we are all aspiring writers here. Just think of something and post it! You will get comments. We all share the same common interest here. ~ T.K