timjim77

This poem does not make people look at the truth. This poem is not straight to the point. This poem is not sad. This poem is not true. This is ...

Simply beautiful.

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Gadi, The fact that so many people did not like your poem is commendable. You are on the right path to becoming a poor, starved poet. All kidding aside, the ...

I like this. I'm glad you revised. If you are willing to revise again, I think there are some minor changes to the texture of the poem that will enhance ...

The end of this poem far surpasses the beginning. Notes: 1. 'Aid' as a verb has no 'e'. An aide is a helper. 2. You have made a lot of ...

It is not yet warm to go outside. As the trees like gummed statues fall to sleep, They stretch their tired limbs Heralding their fresh bareness. Suits and vendors weary ...

Xanthan, I think this poem is fantastic. Your brevity is masterful and hard. But what amazes me the most if the effect of the title on the poem. Such a ...

I like 'beer'. The non-haiku poem is wonderful. I love "wind wind wind to the summit" and "obscene bandages". The powerful brevity of the poem gives it immense appeal. Wonderful ...

The edges of all things turn in Rhythm, parading their contours and Concretes. “We are too, too solid!” they cry. And the eye is seduced. It comforts Its aching peripherals ...

I love dense imagery. But there are a few times within the poems where the tenor of the poem shifts in such a way that the imagery loses its effectiveness. ...

Poems about poetry or writing poetry are often called Ars Poetica. Too much counting to justify reading all the counting. The repetition of the lines may be too clever for ...

WARNING: DO NOT LENGTHEN THIS POEM. Spontaneity is key here. The poem's length is perfect.

Poems should not be billboards. Don't capitalize everything. I have a suggestion that may sound strange. Rewrite this poem in two ways. Make it in the third person, and do ...

Your poem has a good foundation. Some notes: 1. You have used some language which is stale. "time spent together" "will do no harm" "under his charm" "kind at heart", ...