timjim77

I liked it. One thing I would have preferred was if you never mentioned the actual love, and just insinuated it through the metaphor of math. I think there was ...

I screamed you name. Your name.

I really like the second stanza. Witty, brief, precise, visual. The other ones were not quite as good, and the ending was a bit dodgy. It was making a point ...

Excellent. A few minor changes and it's a whole new poem.

With cream flavored hands, She rocks her child In the yellow-lit room With a lullaby wild. And the yellow walls Speak in softer tones As the babe is weeping Through ...

I really love the imagery here. It's so vibrant. I think the last stanza can go though. You wouldn't lose much. The rest is beautiful, and very poignant. The title ...

Well, for one thing, he doesn't do rugs, unless you mean nicotine is a drug. So, I would have to say, many offices would hire smokers. not out of preference, ...

Actually, it's a little sad, because the reason people don't wear belts is because there are no belts allowed in jails. The culture of death strikes again.

Change the title.

This particular line does not fit the piece at all. You could stand to get rid of it. If we are to believe that this is an office building of ...

Eunuch is spelled correctly.

"The original dead letter office, accompanied by fire and dancers. Pentagrams as paperweights, undoing the wind's work, holding dossiers and death sentences." Awesome. We must be influenced by the sam

For once there was an interruption, A brazen noise of insurrection, Product of wayward intersection Lacking further introspection. Once there was a passive note Sailing through a song by rote ...

Violent.

If I had it my way, you'd be my poem. I’d write you beneath bittersweet Willows, weeping for lost Seasons of ripening. And you would flow from my pen Like ...