timjim77

Its eyes, full glee: Huh? Here you rhymed, and you had meter. I love rhyme and meter. I am not one to encourage free verse all the time. But you ...

The first three lines are sheer brilliance. After that, it seems a bit like an out-of-control carriage or something. I still liked the carriage part, and I liked the effect ...

One suggestion. Get rid of the italicized 'dead' in the first line. Comes off a bit tacky.

"hypnotised by the entracing waves": entrancing. But entrancing is redundant there anyway, because you've already told us you were hypnotized. "not understanding were i am": where I am.

I must disagree with David. The poem has no substance. Every line repeats itself. We can summarize the poem in one line: "I am shouting in agony because I want ...

It felt as if while reading it the narrator was panting for breath, as if she was running away from something. Loved that effect. The poem would have benefited if ...

YAY! Awesome. Very nicely done. Imagery: A. Language: A+. Your use of language was incredible, and while it was complex, it flowed sweetly and deliriously.

Agree with everyone else. One suggestion: use punctuation at the end of lines. The fact that you can write a simple, etheral poem without a single person finding some flaw ...

Playwrights know how people interact. They know characters. And they know dialogue. Poetry is dialogue excised from conversations, and put onto the canvas of life. It is dialogue without a ...

Deleted.

"Under a tree, in a cemetery" is not meant to rhyme. The poem is free verse.

Under a tree in a cemetery I found peace under a rock Where many have looked before, Wondering what mystery May lie beneath a silent slab As the one beside ...

Gotcha.

For one, DO NOT introduce your works. It degrades your work. Imagine if you opened a novel, and the first page was a bunch of reasons the author gave for ...

Wow. You have some really tough critics here. I really enjoyed this poem. The rhythm flowed and supported your meaning. I'm a sucker for when form and meaning meet. While ...