tigershark17

someone save me from all this terror what has the world come to that we are treated thus how can we withstand the pain where has the beauty of our ...

I read your title and immediately started grinning. More detail on the "ridiculously pretty cashier." Don't just leave us hanging! Describe her hair, eyes, mouth, body. What is it that ...

wow, okay, a lot of great detail, but don't go overboard. Lighten up on the adjectives just a bit. Vary your sentence lengths: they are all very lllooooonng. Your "new ...

Alright, let's see here. Good start, I like how this fits in very well with your first chapter (I read that before the prologue). However, the birth is very fast; ...

Wow, this is great! Your vivid descriptions really make a reader feel the story. I could almost hear the plates smashing and the bellowing voice of Ronnie's dad echoing through ...

Excellent idea for a story! It sounds like it will be very good. I could already sympathize with Kat as she told the lady at school she couldn't read. The ...

*deleted*