tigershark17

Okay, just like your last chapter, your biggest problem is sentences. A lot of them can be broken down and compacted into one. Try to do this as you write. ...

Hi! My corrections are in green, original in red. Let's get started! (: Instead of starting out by telling us that Anna is awoken just at the good part in ...

"Everything" is spelled wrong in the first line. "When silence is the sound of the world" I love this line! "Everything felt better at night" You jump suddenly into past ...

Hidden Illusions Melanie Holbrook climbed out of her second floor window and sat down on the cool, black slanted roof beneath her. Every night she sat out in the fresh ...

Thanks so much; that helps a lot! As to the second question: I don't watch TV so I wouldn't know, but what do you mean by sportswear? Just general shorts ...

Wow, that is a long time. Okay, well, the first thing I would recommend is to get out of the house. Really. Take a walk, get some fresh air, and ...

Whatever suits you. Honestly, I listen to anything from Brahms and Mozart to Lincoln Park while I write. Don't be afraid to experiment and find what works for you. Mozart ...

The sky was littered with ash as pieces of the plane flew this way and that the sky became a hue of bright orange and then black as the plane ...

The Writer's Idea Workshop -- Jack Heffron The Seven Basic Plots -- Christopher Booker Formatting and Submitting Your Manuscript -- Chuck Sambuchino Seize the Story -- Victoria Hanley The Art ...

Wow, that is a very broad question. First, you have to have an idea, obviously. If you need any help coming up with things or developing ideas you already have, ...

Hey I am new to YWS and especially to forums; I don't really know how you're supposed to go about asking stuff like this. Do I just post in general, ...

(Mother always considered me to be a child. Even as I passed my seventeenth year, she considered me five. It was quite annoying. I was a much more adept witch, ...

Well, as a voracious reader, I will recommend some great writing books for you. Seize the Story by Victoria Hanley, The Art of Styling Sentences by Ann Longknife, The Writer's ...

Prologues don't normall have titles, so I'm not sure what's going on with the "I still mean every word" bit. Also, electrifying seems a bit out of place. Try using ...

Well, it is very short for a proplogue. If that is all you plan on having, might I suggest using it as the beginning of your first chapter instead? However, ...