tigershark17

Well, it is a bit rushed, but not bad! I thoroughly enjoyed this. I love the dream! Excellent job making him wake up just at the high point. I look ...

Whoa. Well, I got a bit lost, particularly at the beginning and end. Why has she been in the hospital for so long? Personally, I think you did a great ...

Oh... wow. This is really excellent. It has a sort of creepy air to it. "Life". The last word flowed from the depths of her wrist. She didn't deserve to ...

This was a really fun piece to reaad. I really enjoyed it when you through in at the end that Dana is a fire hydrant. The one thing I don't ...

Wow-- this is very different. You have an excellent writer's voice; it's kind of sing songy. I have read other work that has kind of a poetic flow to it ...

AAAAAH! Now I want the next one! Darn, cause you just posted this one, too.... Hurry up and keep writing; it's so good! Anyway, a few minor grammar and spelling ...

I have really enjoyed this. Some grammar and spelling errors here and there, but not terrible. I will mention two things: I agree with Sannah; it is too soon for ...

Some minor grammar issues, but it appears those have already been commented on, therefore, I will refrain. Excellent story; I love it! You really have me hooked, and I can't ...

Aw, darn. I read through this and went back up to the "back to novel" button, and then... the letdown. There's no more to read! Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed this, ...

Read George Orwell! He is invaluable when it comes to satirical writing. I would recommend Animal Farm for sure, and 1984. If you have trouble, don't worry, there's always Cliff's ...

Glad I could help! (: Feel free to PM me anytime if you need anything else. TS

Hi Jessica I'll put your original text in red, corrections in blue. Let's get started! The pale blue walls and green carpets, and wooden dusty chairs that have begun to ...

Okay, first of all, don't use abbreviations like OMG. If you're going to say it, then do. If you're worried about doing something like that, don't be. If you haven't ...

Hi MusicFreak: Original text in red, my corrections in blue. His heart thumbed loudly as he glanced behind him. His heart thumped loudly From the way his clothes were torn ...

Okay, first of all, rate this 16+. I know you're only fourteen, but there is some harsh language and mature themes in your writing, which is fine, but it should ...