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thewritingdoc

  • Lyric Poetry Re: The only poem you will ever get out of me ever.

    This is absolutely amazing. I would file it under "favorite soulful poetry" in my books. It's really creative and I was so into it from the very first beautifully written ...

    May 4, 2008
  • Other Poetry Re: Daydreams

    Daydreams lead to heart break, (good opening) Unfulfilled wishes can only snap, (mm... the line doesnt really evoke anything in me. it feels... pointless.. and very forced. fake if u ...

    May 4, 2008
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: You're such a screw UP.

    This seemed likea TV add for some pills to me.. NO OFFENSE! Thats not bad.. However I felt some lines to be just plain... i dont know a word for ...

    May 4, 2008
  • Other Re: Dear Lover

    Hmm.. Funny. I thought about reading this as I saw it a few weeks ago but then changed my mind and now here I am again. What I really like ...

    May 4, 2008
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Inner Peace

    Overall; good piece. Although I feel like you could have made me visualize more. I felt.. a need for even more description for some reason. True, you do give a ...

    May 4, 2008
  • Other Poetry Re: Gorgeous Neon

    Lots of word the typical reader may have to infer here of look up. That could become an issue, I'm just saying that publisher's themselves aren't exactly the brightest crayons ...

    May 4, 2008
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: Ms. Apt Diagnosis

    This is a fairly good piece. You had some reat words of visualization and did a good job at making me see your thoughts. However; I dislike when people automatically ...

    May 4, 2008
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Again

    First off, welcome to YWS! This is beautifully amazing! The visualization for me was through the roof but the emotion was as well! I loved the way you began; it ...

    May 3, 2008
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: The Boy Who Lived

    Overall... this is very good. However, I do feel that you focus so much on words here and being creative and impressing people with just fancy words that you forget ...

    May 3, 2008
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: another year

    "the falls leafs (shoudnt it be leaves..?) flow in the breeze, another school year begins, another year of hope, wishing, praying, that someone would come and take me away, take ...

    May 3, 2008
  • Lyrics Re: stages of breaking

    In the first line; you switch tense: I hug you But then you flinch And then you told (it should be tell) me It's all in present tense until you ...

    May 3, 2008
  • Other Poetry Re: Goodbye

    Nice little simple piece. I feel like.. It needs more. It's good so far; but you need to build on it. My favorite line was: But you must go as ...

    May 3, 2008
  • Romantic Novels Re: Chapter 5 of Wrong or Right

    Issues: My mind was unwavering, my jaw set Ths line sounds.. overused. Perhaps it could be something more like My mind was set, my jaw clenched, or hardened. It just ...

    May 3, 2008
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: Cure Me Please (Third Attempt)

    Hmm. What to say about this? Gosh it's very different. Overall, it is well written. Bettwe then before even though you changed it so much it was unrecognizable. That's not ...

    May 1, 2008
  • Lyrics Re: Mommy

    These were certainly original. They were great overall. No suggestions.. Uhm... the only thing I had issues with was the beat. Sometime it seemed kind of off although mainly it ...

    May 1, 2008


I will not condemn you for what you did yesterday, if you do it right today.
— Sheldon S. Maye