theotherone

Hello there. :) I'll begin with nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression of story. Very slowly the man lifted his hands to where the woman’s veil was ...

Hello there. :) This is an amazing piece you've written. I don't have much to say... You throw the vase your sister made for us at the blank of wall ...

Hello there. :) First for the nitpicks... Glitter box and Miracles already covered them, but there's one they didn't. The bus started to move and I couldn't take my eyes ...

Hello there. :) I'll begin with the nitpicks and the then go on with my overall impression on your story. Some of these goals – getting into her first choice ...

This was the day. The day it would all change, and the day I would finally have the courage to take her in my arms. It had taken way too ...

“Guys, it’s getting late. I thought that maybe you want to go sleep…?” Delia had appeared at the kitchen door. She was peering in, one hand on the door frame, ...

Hello there. :) I either need you there as a friend , or something else. And this is starting to sound really stupid period. :| Doesn't mean that if you ...

Hello there. :) I see you have punctuation mistakes, so I'll quote the whole thing to make it easier to correct. Chapter 1 I stopped in front of my aunt’s ...

Hello there. :) Your mother and I found out you were arriving at such a bad time, but it seemed to smooth things over like a band aid . I ...

Hello Werewolfgirl. :) Like Miracles said, it's pretty easy when you actually know everything this site has to offer. First off, if you have any questions, go on the wall ...

Hello there. :) First off, make sure to space your story. It's really intense and not attractive to the eye when it's in a huge paragraph like right now. It's ...

Hello there. :) Sorry if it took me a while to get to this... It's been a crazy week. I'll go on with the review though. "It was whatever. I ...

“Sorry.” Rose’s voice was little compared to their booming laughter. We all stopped, looking at her. “Uh, no it’s fine. It’s been awhile, right? I’m the one who should be ...

Hello, I'm here again. :) It was always warm and cozy in there and they had tons of soft armchairs that were perfect were perfect for sinking into and getting ...

Hello there. :) He leaned down to touch the hands of over excited teenage girls, looking in their eyes. 'Their' doesn't take a 's'. :) A note that said, Meet ...