theotherone

Hello again! :) The white-wigged judge nodded, “ thank you . You may sit.” “I apologi z e for my actions earlier, I should have seen that my intentions were ...

Hello there, :) This was a little bit confusing. I liked that you made a link between the prologue and the first chapter with your first lines, but then who's ...

Hello there. :) “But she isn’t due for another month.” I said with the disbelief obvious obvious disbelief in my voice. When we got there, Bri and I waited for ...

Hello there. :) You want me to quote the whole thing? :O I don't think there's that much mistakes, but I'll still do it and add some notes for you. ...

Hello again. :) Part II (James): I watched her from a distance; arguing with her father: her black hair streaming down her back in long strands and her lilac eyes ...

Hello there. :) I see that everyone else before me corrected all those mistakes... I'll try to make it short. I notice you have a lot of run-on sentences. You ...

Hello there. :) Though the strong urge itched at my fingers I managed to say no too the temptation no matter how very strongly I wanted to act on it. ...

Hello there, it's me again. :) Apart from that, Aimee was starting to make me worried. I was starting to get worried about her, though. She told me she would ...

Hello there. :) I'll begin with the nitpciks and then move on with my overall impression of the story. It was my most resent recent one. I almost didn't see ...

Aw yes... I know what you all mean about the suicide thing... It's actually missing a part, but I couldn't phrase it well so I just went and didn't write ...

Hello again. :) Whoa, next chapter is short! Like Alexx said here, you might want to get a little more details in this one. That night when I said goodbye ...

Hello new arrivers! Always great to see new people arriving. :) Hope you all like this site. -Other One

Hello there. :) I don't think you have any gramatical mistakes, so good job for that. Y ou came to the coffee shop where I was working , and got ...

Hello there. :) Your grammar seemed fine to me, so I'll leave that alone this once. :) The only thing that I would change is maybe break up that first ...

I know most of you won't get it. I'm just going to say it's about a suicide. That's all you need to know, and if you still don't get it... ...