thehobbitgangster

I thought this was a very good poem. I got the metaphor and I really could feel the pain in sadness in it. Also, this had fantastic imagery in it!

This was a good start for a poem. I agree with the above comments about starting sentences with "I" to often. Change it up! You don't want to bore the ...

Yeah, so I agree with Snoink. It would be incredibly helpful to organize your lyrics into stanzas and show where the chorus is or a bridge. This way too the ...

My chuck norris taco belle shirt and plaid pajama bottoms. Taco Belle is open late 'cause Chuck Norris said so!

I look like an old woman, I thought as I peered in the mirror. Leaning further over the sink I looked closer into the glass. Maybe the fluorescent lights in ...

Thanks Lava! You know I think I did originally put "who is", but changed it because I thought it was wrong. Thanks for the clarification and critique!

Wow this poem is almost right in time for Earth Day!! (that seemed like the message to me anyway :) ) Interesting rhyme at the end there, but I suppose ...

#1 Australia #2 small cottage #3 Beach #4 coconut chocolate #5 husband #6 morning work-out #7 shower #8 Fox #9 Um jonas bros #10 Ipod!!!! #11 lemonade #12 Google #13 ...

I'd have to say that picture 3 was my favorite. The way that the sun was shining down through the clouds added to the gorgeous reflection in the sand won ...

Holy Moly! That second picture that you posted is amazing! And you say you drew it?! Wow, that's really cool! That first one almost looks like a picture of an ...

I really liked the imagery in this poem. I felt like I could actually think of what type of butterfly it really which aided in picturing the rest of the ...

I think this is interesting because when I usually think haiku I think of nature related poems or somewhat weather related. Maybe in the third stanza second line if you ...

Hey! So I'd like to thank everyone for the positive comments. And for the comment about how "sinks" doesn't really fit that well, I sort of envisioned it being said ...

ha this is really funny! I'd sort of appreciate if you separated the verses from the chorus or put some of it in stanzas. That way it would be easier ...

This is a really sweet picture! I agree that the background of the cup is slightly bothersome. It just seems to blend in with the actual slush in the slush ...