User avatar

thedelphinater

  • Narrative Poetry Re: My Dreamland

    Awesomeness!!! Anyway, so far as mechanics go: Unfeeling and unconscious To current’s tug and God’s call, Floating in and around myself, I rise, but maybe I fall? I don't think ...

    Wed Mar 11, 2009 12:47 am
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: Removed

    This was good. A few little things however. Firstly, the beginning of each line needs to be capitalized. Secondly, you need more punctuation. You have some, but it needs a ...

    Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:23 pm
  • Lyrics Re: A Stupid Love Song

    Thanks to everyone for your comments. I fixed the punctuation and stuff, and I kept part of the note at the beginning to give people a sort of feel for ...

    Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:14 pm
  • Lyrics Re: A Stupid Love Song

    Oh the irony, I wrote this after I got over the guy I liked. Weird. Anyway, if anyone's familiar with Lemon Demon, it's in that sort of style, goofy and ...

    Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:09 am
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: Falling Hard

    Well, I'm probably not the best person to be reviewing this partially because I can't relate, but mostly because I hate romance and all that sappiness. This wasn't bad, I ...

    Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:38 pm
  • Lyrics Re: For you I will bleed (Death Metal)

    Pretty good, except for a few little errors: If you feel rite I make you the light! "Rite" is supposed to be spelt "right." Rite is more in the sense ...

    Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:22 pm
  • Welcome Mat Re: I'm so special! I have the word "the" in my name!

    Well, you know, compared to say, I don't know, 1984 by Orwell, or Slaughter-House Five by Vonnegut, Stargirl seems a bit... childish? I mean, great message and all, but, not ...

    Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:10 pm
  • Narrative Poetry Re: She awaits

    Not bad, but it needs some work. Like you said, the stanzas and flow need some work. Some of the phrasing and words choices were a bit awkward, so it ...

    Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:57 pm
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Don't Let Go

    I thought this was really good, not just from a grammar/spelling/punctuation standpoint, but just the poem itself. Like, I can't put my finger on it, but I just really, really ...

    Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:27 pm
  • Other Re: some reviews I wrote.

    Yay! Death Cab for Cutie! Sorry, they're one of my favorite bands, so I envy you for being able to see them live. Moving on to your writing, good job! ...

    Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:07 am
  • Other Re: You Don't Understand

    Well, you sort of get it. You get the first part, the anger, the frustration, the resentment. What you don't get is the having to hold it back, because everyone ...

    Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:55 am
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Shades of death

    This was pretty good. I liked the plot so far, and I think I understand what's going on. A few little things I noticed though. So far as grammar goes,it ...

    Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:17 am
  • Other Poetry Re: Travels above the clouds

    This was really good. Not only was the idea good, but so was the imagery, rhythm, spelling, structure, and grammar for the most parts. In one or two places you ...

    Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:30 am
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Whatever Happened to Love?

    I'm generally not one to really like rap and that sort of stuff, but I really liked this. Not only was it well written, but the message was awesome, and ...

    Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:08 am
  • General Articles Re: Silly, but Never Childish

    No fair! How come you get to be so good at writing without even trying? Rawr! Ahem, sorry about that, though it was sincere and I hope it made you ...

    Tue Feb 24, 2009 11:31 pm


Life's short; smile while you still have teeth.
— Tuesday