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Re: My Dreamland
Awesomeness!!! Anyway, so far as mechanics go: Unfeeling and unconscious To current’s tug and God’s call, Floating in and around myself, I rise, but maybe I fall? I don't think ...
Wed Mar 11, 2009 12:47 am -
Re: Removed
This was good. A few little things however. Firstly, the beginning of each line needs to be capitalized. Secondly, you need more punctuation. You have some, but it needs a ...
Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:23 pm -
Re: A Stupid Love Song
Thanks to everyone for your comments. I fixed the punctuation and stuff, and I kept part of the note at the beginning to give people a sort of feel for ...
Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:14 pm -
Re: A Stupid Love Song
Oh the irony, I wrote this after I got over the guy I liked. Weird. Anyway, if anyone's familiar with Lemon Demon, it's in that sort of style, goofy and ...
Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:09 am -
Re: Falling Hard
Well, I'm probably not the best person to be reviewing this partially because I can't relate, but mostly because I hate romance and all that sappiness. This wasn't bad, I ...
Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:38 pm -
Re: For you I will bleed (Death Metal)
Pretty good, except for a few little errors: If you feel rite I make you the light! "Rite" is supposed to be spelt "right." Rite is more in the sense ...
Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:22 pm -
Re: I'm so special! I have the word "the" in my name!
Well, you know, compared to say, I don't know, 1984 by Orwell, or Slaughter-House Five by Vonnegut, Stargirl seems a bit... childish? I mean, great message and all, but, not ...
Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:10 pm -
Re: She awaits
Not bad, but it needs some work. Like you said, the stanzas and flow need some work. Some of the phrasing and words choices were a bit awkward, so it ...
Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:57 pm -
Re: Don't Let Go
I thought this was really good, not just from a grammar/spelling/punctuation standpoint, but just the poem itself. Like, I can't put my finger on it, but I just really, really ...
Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:27 pm -
Re: some reviews I wrote.
Yay! Death Cab for Cutie! Sorry, they're one of my favorite bands, so I envy you for being able to see them live. Moving on to your writing, good job! ...
Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:07 am -
Re: You Don't Understand
Well, you sort of get it. You get the first part, the anger, the frustration, the resentment. What you don't get is the having to hold it back, because everyone ...
Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:55 am -
Re: Shades of death
This was pretty good. I liked the plot so far, and I think I understand what's going on. A few little things I noticed though. So far as grammar goes,it ...
Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:17 am -
Re: Travels above the clouds
This was really good. Not only was the idea good, but so was the imagery, rhythm, spelling, structure, and grammar for the most parts. In one or two places you ...
Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:30 am -
Re: Whatever Happened to Love?
I'm generally not one to really like rap and that sort of stuff, but I really liked this. Not only was it well written, but the message was awesome, and ...
Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:08 am -
Re: Silly, but Never Childish
No fair! How come you get to be so good at writing without even trying? Rawr! Ahem, sorry about that, though it was sincere and I hope it made you ...
Tue Feb 24, 2009 11:31 pm
