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thedelphinater

  • Other Poetry Re: Nature Poem

    Hi! You're new here, so I'll try to be fairly normal and not scare you away! :P Heat raining down fromt the sun as it lights up the sky. This ...

    Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:32 pm
  • Other Poetry Re: I need help with this please!!!

    Hi! You're a new member, so I'll try to seem fairly normal and not scare you away. :P What were you before you came to me? Were you the treasure ...

    Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:17 pm
  • Lyrics Re: Just friends

    This was good. The only other two things I noticed were the rhyme scheme and punctuation. You had punctuation, but it was very boring. Every. Line. Ended. In. A. Period. ...

    Wed Jun 03, 2009 2:06 am
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Shy

    I liked this, and yet I kind of didn't. I'm trying to think how to explain this without sounding mean or anything. See, I can relate, and these are often ...

    Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:34 am
  • Other Poetry Re: Masks

    This was good. I liked the imagery, and I couldn't find anything that was really wrong with it. Just two little things I noticed: And the stars loving gaze. Should ...

    Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:20 am
  • Other Poetry Re: Things to be happy about

    This was good and made me feel, well, happy. Sometimes you just need to remind yourself that even though things are tough at the moment, life isn't all that bad. ...

    Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:06 am
  • Other Re: The Bible?

    Hmm, I'm not really sure how I feel about this one. I get what you're saying, and to some level I agree with it. I agree with you in the ...

    Wed Jun 03, 2009 12:51 am
  • Other Poetry Re: My Glasses

    Oh I really liked this and can totally relate. I don't have glasses, but I'm basically one of those people that isn't even on the social pyramid, much less on ...

    Wed Jun 03, 2009 12:39 am
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Gone

    This was good. Just a few little things though. The poem starts out really strong, and then it sort of starts to not exactly fall apart, that sounds to dramatic ...

    Wed Jun 03, 2009 12:32 am
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: The Eye of God

    Wow. This was amazing. I'm not very good at critiquing, but I honestly could not find any major flaws. The flow was perfect, as well as all that other grammar/punctuation ...

    Wed Jun 03, 2009 12:23 am
  • Welcome Mat Re: Black Wind

    Hi! You're so lucky for two reasons. First of all, you live in Russia, which is so cool. I've seen pictures of Yekaterinburg, and it is really pretty. And secondly, ...

    Tue Jun 02, 2009 11:55 pm
  • Other Poetry Re: fortune cookies

    Um, I'm not quite sure what to say about this, other than I think it's in the wrong section. I wouldn't exactly consider it poetry for lack of basically any ...

    Tue Jun 02, 2009 11:37 pm
  • Other Poetry Re: In Fond Regret

    Ooh I really liked this, too! I can't do very much of a critique, because there wasn't very much I found wrong, and Evi already said most of the things ...

    Tue Jun 02, 2009 11:29 pm
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Tubes & Wires

    Aw, this was sad, now I'm depressed. Though I did like the redeeming ending. Like, yeah Fia died, but her sister loved her enough tot let her go. Now, time ...

    Mon Jun 01, 2009 11:33 pm
  • Narrative Poetry Re: The Sterility of Education

    First order of business: the nit-picking stuff. OK, so it started out pretty good, but then you sort of seemed to lose interest or something in grammar and punctuation and ...

    Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:51 pm


If I seem to wander, if I seem to stray, remember that true stories seldom take the straightest way.
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind